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Wednesday, 26 August 2015

self-love

Every time I am now close to giving up, I think: every time I almost gave up, every time I thought there was no point to beat what was inside me, every struggle I thought I'd never get through - I beat it. I beat the monster inside me and that's accomplishment enough for my whole life. Every time I feel like I have accomplished nothing, every time I feel like my life is pointless, every time I remember: my little tiny hormone-crazed brain had enough strength to push me through a storm I was too young to even comprehend. I stayed with myself through every self-battle at 3 in the morning, crying, curled up in my bed until I numbed into a deep, deep sleep.
I have conquered, time and time again, the hardest thing there is to conquer: myself.
I am a scarred soldier, a hormonal adolescent, a struggling student, a depressed teenager, a perturbed travel; the outcome of family turmoil.
I am still here. I will continue to be here, far longer after I understand what I am here for.

Thursday, 30 April 2015

questions

1. what does one do to feel alive? is getting drunk till you can't tell left from right feeling alive? how far do i have to run to feel my adrenaline run? what risks are worth taking?

2. am i enough? will i ever be enough? what about all the flaws in me that i can't see?

3. does one have to be loved back in order to be in love? if so, i don't know love.

Sunday, 22 February 2015

hey, strangers.

I realize it's been a while since I've posted on here, but going back and reading my inconsistent and incoherent thought process mapped out onto this blog, I miss being on here and I miss having something to say. I lost track of this blog mostly because I realized no one was really reading what I was posting. Again, reading through my old posts I came across some really appreciative comments I hadn't seen before, and they really made me smile.

But what do I have to say today?
Today I just want to go through my typical rant about anything and everything.
I want you to know that I am much stronger than I was a year ago. I am much more happier than I was a year ago. And I do now believe that time heals all wounds. I believe that time changes all and that time brings with it some good news and some bad news. It is our choice which one we choose to focus on. I have much more to say, and I'll find time to say it eventually.

For now, this is farewell.
Just to save you guys the trouble (and prevent uninterested followers), please don't follow back! (Unless you like my blog, in which case, follow back all you want. Stalk me, write on my page, comment, follow me on Tumblr. I ALLOW IT.)