Wednesday, 26 August 2015

self-love

Every time I am now close to giving up, I think: every time I almost gave up, every time I thought there was no point to beat what was inside me, every struggle I thought I'd never get through - I beat it. I beat the monster inside me and that's accomplishment enough for my whole life. Every time I feel like I have accomplished nothing, every time I feel like my life is pointless, every time I remember: my little tiny hormone-crazed brain had enough strength to push me through a storm I was too young to even comprehend. I stayed with myself through every self-battle at 3 in the morning, crying, curled up in my bed until I numbed into a deep, deep sleep.
I have conquered, time and time again, the hardest thing there is to conquer: myself.
I am a scarred soldier, a hormonal adolescent, a struggling student, a depressed teenager, a perturbed travel; the outcome of family turmoil.
I am still here. I will continue to be here, far longer after I understand what I am here for.

Thursday, 30 April 2015

questions

1. what does one do to feel alive? is getting drunk till you can't tell left from right feeling alive? how far do i have to run to feel my adrenaline run? what risks are worth taking?

2. am i enough? will i ever be enough? what about all the flaws in me that i can't see?

3. does one have to be loved back in order to be in love? if so, i don't know love.

Sunday, 22 February 2015

hey, strangers.

I realize it's been a while since I've posted on here, but going back and reading my inconsistent and incoherent thought process mapped out onto this blog, I miss being on here and I miss having something to say. I lost track of this blog mostly because I realized no one was really reading what I was posting. Again, reading through my old posts I came across some really appreciative comments I hadn't seen before, and they really made me smile.

But what do I have to say today?
Today I just want to go through my typical rant about anything and everything.
I want you to know that I am much stronger than I was a year ago. I am much more happier than I was a year ago. And I do now believe that time heals all wounds. I believe that time changes all and that time brings with it some good news and some bad news. It is our choice which one we choose to focus on. I have much more to say, and I'll find time to say it eventually.

For now, this is farewell.